Thursday, April 2, 2009

This is the Story of My Life

This is what happens when I don't get enough sleep. I don't know how other mothers do it because we're ALL sleep-deprived, I'm sure. But I can't figure out how to function with insuficient sleep. So, now that my children are older and can watch a movie or play by themselves for a long time, I can snag a nap, which I did today.

My son does NOT comprehend that he wrecks my sleep every night because the very first time he wakes up, he climbs in bed with me. If I put him out, he sleeps on my floor and then he wants to hold my hand, which is really uncomfortable because our bed is high enough that I have to be on the very edge, with my head smashed up against my dresser, in order to reach him. I know he must need that connection with me, or the reassurance, but it's driving me nuts. I have awakened Al before and asked him to deal with Evan. And he usually does this by saying, "Evan, go back to bed!" and then promptly falling back to sleep. And I mean promptly - I think he's usually asleep again as the last word tumbles out of his mouth. Sometimes Evan obeys and sometimes he doesn't. I know it's not the right thing to do, but when I'm trying to sleep, my resolve is very weak, so I usually let him hang around if he puts up a fight.

I know this, I really do: If Al and I make a concerted effort to get up and bring him back to bed, comfort him and reassure him, he will eventually be able to get himself back to sleep, knowing mom and dad are right across the hall. But I JUST DON'T WANT TO GET OUT OF BED!!! So, I suffer with chronic sleep loss because of this little guy.

If it were up to me, I would probably just let all my kids sleep with me. Al is the one who doesn't like to be next to anyone in the night. If I even get close enough that he can feel my body heat, he will wake up and say, "Is someone in our bed?" This, from the guy I have to poke and prod about 5 times before he wakes up to deal with the culprit in the first place.

Wow, I'm really rambling here. What does this have to do with my messy living room, as shown in the photo? Back to the nap. The kids are beyond that stage of being enthralled with movies as their eyes glass over for a nice hour-and-a-half or two. That is mostly fine with me since I'd rather they don't care too much about movies or TV anyway. But here, indicated in the picture, is what happens when I don't get enough sleep, the whole schedule is thrown off, and the kids have the run of the house -they trash it! Then I wake up from my nap with more to do than when I went to sleep, quite honestly, makes me feel like crawling back into bed again.

(I do realize that my living room probably doesn't look that messy to most people. But I'm a perfectionist, and for me, it is a living hell to have my house looking that way!)

What it probably boils down to is a lack of discipline and training on my part.

But it's so hard to be disciplined without sleep. Waaah!


  1. I'm with you. And for me the whole equation ends with Grouchy, Irritable Momma. It's a bad cycle.

    I've also been thinking lately that my aversion to messes and hassles is a large hinderance to my job as a parent.

    But, children are really a blessing and it's the struggles that I have in my responsibility to them that are sending me straight to Heaven! I need to get better at thanking God daily for the vocation he gave me as wife and mother. :)

  2. I really have let go of wanting my house to look perfect. . . to some extent. I'm just continually amazed at how FAST it gets messy!

    I agree that our children are worth much more than having a neat house.

  3. It's so hard to function with little sleep! I think it's such a struggle to keep my house clean when my kids mess it up again within 5 minutes. I say just enjoy your kids and don't stress about having everything clean all the time.


  4. Looks normal to me, and I love the purple/ burgundy color walls!

  5. Well...I have MAJOR childhood memories of being overwhelmed with fear at night. My parents wouldn't let me in their bed but RARELY. And they kept their room below zero in the winter. Really - all the windows open while they slept! Anyway, I recall huddling on the floor in their room, or if I couldn't stand it, on the floor outside their door. How pathetic. It was probably in one of those midnight miseries that I decided I'd ALWAYS let frightened children sleep with me! HM....I think that's why we eventually put a little antique half-bed in our room! She slept in our room until she left home. And Aidan, mainly because his attic room was either too hot in summer or too cold in winter made a "nest" on the floor in there. Not quite the "family bed" - but the "family room" anyway.

    Fast forward to the second time around. Now I am the one who, like Al - HATED to have anyone touch me while I was sleeping. HATED it. Not exactly romantic, eh? However, somehow with Anastasia, I changed completely. She is the BEST snuggler imaginable, and I actually got used to sleeping entwined with her. We even bought a bigger bed so that we could more comfortably sleep 3. Then Zhen joined us. Four was tight. When Rosie, the dog got on.....we were REALLY cozy! Now that Craig is in Korea, I have Anastasia on one side and Zhen on the other and I am in bliss, absolute bliss.

    And yes - if I took a nap, my house would look like that, too. Or worse. The little ones like to make "tents".


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