Valentine's Day - The Friend Makin' Monday Question

The fabulous Amber is once again hosting Friend Makin' Monday. Her topic of the week is how we celebrated Valentine's Day.

Well, my previous post dealt with the special-ness of Valentine's Day for me and my hubby, so go and read it!!! But as far as doing anything special, we didn't. We hardly ever celebrate Valentine's day with a big to-do. We're usually too broke.

However, we do have one tradition that we started with our children when they were very little. Our ideal is that our children will wait until they are ready for marriage to pursue any kind of romantic relationships. Yes, it's a high ideal, but we've been teaching them about the purpose of romance and marriage since they were very small. And we happen to be blessed with a peer group that supports this idea of courtship - that romantic relating should be strictly reserved for finding a suitable marriage partner. In other words, no dating until you're ready for marriage! Yes, indeed, some people have responded to us like we're lunatics, but I'd rather communicate this as the ideal rather than letting my kids get romantically (and otherwise) involved when they're too young.

OK, so what does that have to do with Valentine's Day? When our oldest was still a toddler, we decided we would go out for ice cream with our kids on Valentine's Day. We'd like them to have the vision that we spend Valentine's Day together as a family and that they will have something other than romance to look forward to each February 14. And of course, ice cream on Valentine's Day is significant for my husband and me, if you go back and read my previous post (yes, that was another hint).

However, this year, the children were all sick with different levels of colds, so I bought ice cream and toppings and we made sundaes at home. That was just as much fun as going out!

My hubby and I discreetly exchanged Valentine cards - I can't let the holiday go by without acknowledging that he won my heart on Valentine's Day so many years ago!

Friend Makin' Mondays - The Love Story

This is my first time doing a Friend Makin' Monday post. I've read many of them and they are so much fun - what a great way to make friends. Thanks to Kasey for coming up with this fun idea. Go over to her site if you want to take part.
My husband and I met when he was 17 and I was 20, in 1990. Yeah, I'm a cradle-robber. :) I was in my third year at Michigan State University, and he was starting his first year. I had gotten involved in an awesome outreach called University Christian Outreach (UCO). I went to the first meeting of the year and there was this new kid sitting in front of me. After the meeting was over, he turned around and introduced himself to me. What was funny is that, at first, I thought he was a 25-year-old grad student, not a 17-year-old freshman! And believe me, there was nothing going on in the attraction department.
Al was an immediate fixture in UCO - at all the activities, always helping with some practical service. Over the next few years, we got to know each other and became very good friends. He was the kind of guy all the girls wanted to be "friends" with because he was such a good guy - funny, honest, loyal, and not at all threatening.
I graduated from MSU after Fall Semester 1992, and it was toward the end of my college career that I started to realize that Al was interested in me. I was kind of slow, I guess, but I also wasn't interested in the least. Everyone else knew it - my room-mates, my friends, my family.


Right after I graduated, I hopped a plane to the Philippines to do missionary work for a year (in total, I spent 15 months there). Al was the most loyal penpal. I really loved hearing from him because he was a connection to home, and he was like a brother to me. Still. . . no "feelings."


When I returned in March of 1994, I drove the 400 miles from my parents' house in Northern Michigan to East Lansing / MSU to go to a wedding of some dear friends of ours from UCO. I saw Al, he came up and gave me a big hug. I was very happy to see him, but. . . .no "feelings."



Three months later, I moved back to East Lansing. Al asked me to go to see a movie with him and I asked him if anyone else was going (I was trying to feel it out, to see if this was a "date".) No, he hadn't invited anyone else, so I told him plainly, "Al, I'm not interested in you that way." (LOL - I have to laugh at how many times I ended up saying such things to him!) But we continued to be friends, hang out together, and grow in what would be a fantastic foundation for our marriage.
Fast forward to January 1995. I needed to buy a car. Al is a car guru - knows the best models, best deals, etc. He offered to come along with me to help me find just the right one. Finally, I started to recognize something in myself. . . .feelings? interest? We went out on a few "dates". But something still didn't seem right to me. In retrospect, it was probably just not the best timing in either of our lives. Regardless, I broke his heart by telling him, "I just don't think you're the one for me."
Almost a year passed, and our relationship was strained after that. Of course it was awkward - I had broken his heart. But eventually, our friendship returned, and around Christmas of 1995, my feelings for Al started to resurface. A group of us had gone out for drinks just before the holidays, and Al was leaving the next day to visit his family in California. I went out to his car with him. I had a weird feeling - I wanted to hug him good-bye, but even more, I wanted to hold him. I wanted him to hold me. But I didn't do or say anything. When I was at Church with my family on Christmas Eve, I had a very strange thing happen. I had a "vision" that Al walked into Church and sat down with my family.
When we returned to East Lansing, I continued thinking and praying about Al. I had no intention of letting him know I was having any renewed interest. . . just yet. In a way, I wanted to know I was serious about him before we resumed any romantic pursuit - I didn't want to break his heart again.
On Valentine's Day 1996, I was working at my job as a preschool teacher. Al had taken my car to have the oil changed. He was always doing little services like that for me. We had plans to go out with a group of friends in the evening to celebrate Valentine's Day. When I went out to my car after work, the snow was falling and it was just getting dark. There was a single carnation on my windshield, along with a little note - Al asked me if he could treat me to ice cream that night. No huge romantic date. Not even a rose. But THIS was the moment when I realized what love was - I sat in my car and cried, sobbed, huge amazing tears. This is what it was like to be loved. And I loved Al. I knew it. . . .finally! (Now we affectionately refer to this as the moment that the blinders came off!)
We resumed our romantic relationship that night. When I told my family that I was dating Al, their response was, "It's about time!" From that point on, I never had any doubts that Al was the "ONE". I have never second-guessed our relationship. Al is my soul-mate and I'm so incredibly grateful that he didn't give up on me. And that the Lord helped to me to recognize what true love was.
We were engaged in June of 1996, and married in November, Thanksgiving weekend, 1996.

(L-R: J, T, J, H, Al & Me, Best Man, D, and Maid of Honor)

I love this picture (sorry it's not the best quality - I had to scan it in). This epitomizes our relationship and our deep friendships. We love to have fun. We love to laugh. And we actually went bowling on our wedding day, and scored matching (albeit pathetic) scores of 77.
That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

Valentine's Day

Today is Valentine's Day.

It also happens to be a Saturday, which is usually my day to sleep in. Not this morning. My children came in at an obscene hour and climbed all over me, saying, "Happy Valentine's Day, Mommy!" I couldn't be entirely angry with them, so I said, "Happy Valentine's Day. Now get out." So, they went off to play their Saturday morning video games. A while later, at a slightly less obscene hour, my 4-year-old wandered back in and started mauling me with hugs and kisses. He is such a lover-boy, and I usually appreciate his sweet little whispers into my ear. EXCEPT when I'm trying to sleep. I politely tried to turn him away several times until finally he said, "Mommy, I want some breakfast." I told him to go and ask Daddy. He went away for a few more minutes, only to come back to announce, "Mommy, I pooped in my pullup." Groan. . . .You'd think he'd bring me chocolate on Valentine's Day, not fudge.

Then came round 2, 3, and 4 - each of my older children successively came in, wondering how long I was going to sleep, when I was going to get up, and what I could get them for breakfast. My kids all somehow think that Dad's food-getting ability is rendered useless when I'm trying to sleep or do some other useful thing, despite the fact that he regularly makes brunch on the weekends and that he prepares spaghetti once a week.

So, I finally gave in and staggered downstairs some time between 9:30 and 10. My entire family KNOWS that the first thing I have to do is to get my coffee. I don't serve breakfast, I don't get dressed, I don't even answer questions without my coffee. Evan, the afore-mentioned 4-year-old, doesn't always comply with this rule, so he once again pointed out that he had pooped in his pullup. . .on accident. I ignored him, and as soon as I had coffee in hand, Hope, my 9-year-old, gathered everyone into the living room for a surprise. She ceremoniously handed out all of her Valentines to the family, and we had to open them and read them aloud, one by one.

While appreciating her thoughtfulness, I was still grumbling on the inside about the prospect of having to deal with a stinky pullup before I got to really enjoy my coffee. My ever-astute husband (actually, he's not very astute - it's more like he's just beginning to scratch the surface of understanding what I want after 12 years of marriage and my grumpiness) offered to clean up Mr. Poopy-pants. Sigh. . . I was finally enjoying my coffee.

Well, I was actually thinking about all that the day would entail - getting the house cleaned, getting groceries, and trying to make Valentine's Day somewhat special for my husband and children. I was also mildly annoyed that my husband could spend the whole day relaxing while I still had to go about my work. I didn't necessarily want or need him to do anything. . .I was just jealous that he has the luxury of actually relaxing on the weekends. (Yes, I'm working on this - he works hard too!)

I'm not sure why I was so crabby today. I'm not even close to PMS. But the day began to brighten when my husband called a sitter so we could go out and get lunch together. . . .AND get groceries. Fine with me - I really enjoy doing anything with my hubby. . . .and without my kids.

After our lunch date, we came home and gave our children Valentines and little hearts full of M&M's. As they thanked us, I was thinking, "Now they won't bug me for a while." An added bonus was that the babysitter had gotten the children to clean up their rooms while we were gone!

We told the kids to watch a movie and eat their treats while we took a "nap" (wink, wink).

Not such a bad Valentine's Day after all.