Monday, April 13, 2009

Into the Void

I'm awake at 10:30 PM (not too incredibly late by most standards). BUT, I'm supposed to wake up tomorrow at 5 a.m. and drive 8 hours, with children, sans husband, to my parents' house in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. I'm not too worried, as long as I get some sleep tonight.

What I am worried about is internet access. Yes, I'm an addict. My parents have THE slowest dial-up on the planet. I'm not exaggerating. I'm sure there are people deep in the bush of Africa, in the farthest reaches of the outback in Australia, and in the remotest island of the vast oceans who are still able to connect to the world wide web faster than my parents can. And that would include any amount of time under 13 minutes. And IF you want to download a picture, be prepared to wait about 27 minutes, as long as you can stay connected that long. If a neighbor picks up the phone to make a call, you may get booted off. If the computer goes dormant, it's bye-bye. Every so often, while your precious website is loading, you can at least try to walk by and jiggle the mouse to keep the computer active, but it's not a sure thing. And this is just to load ONE page, mind you. How many pages do you typically have to load on any one website? Hmm, for my bank website: between 7 and 10. I literally spend most of my time at my parents' house trying to connect to and navigate the internet. With a few isolated pockets of visiting in between.

So, off I go to the great white North, which I truly HOPE and PRAY is no longer white, to spend time with family, to celebrate Great Grandma's 90th birthday, and to traverse the treacherous Bermuda Triangle of internet access.


  1. Ohhh, duuuuude, you are screwed! There aint nuthin up there that connects to nuthin! Seriously! I did not realize such places still existed until I was forced to drive to Rhinelander one day a few years back. HOW can people live like that, I have no idea.
    Laura Ingalls had it better!
    Honk when you go past Green Bay and I will wave out my window.

  2. Even I say it: maybe you need to offer it up for the duration.

    Good luck with the trip!

  3. The internet isn't going anywhere, we'll be here when you get back :-) Enjoy your trip.

  4. Just take a computer break. Again. =)

    Drive safe and enjoy your family.

  5. Have a wonderful trip! I think I would shrivel up and die without the internet, so I feel your pain!


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