Commander Space Cadet, Reporting for Duty

I had to laugh at myself about this one.

A few days ago, I had a very busy morning. My plan was to drop Evan off at his once-a-week learn and play group at 9:30 AM. Faith likes to help out at the play group, so she went along. Then I had to drive across town (10-15 minute drive) and drop Hope off at a math tutoring session. Finally, I had to go to Meijer to get groceries, and my daughter Joy would come along with me. After all that, I would reverse my steps and pick up Faith and Evan at 12:30 PM.

Now, I have never found it difficult to keep track of my 4 children. . . .until that day.

You would think that after 20 years of living with my adult self, I would have a better estimation of how much time it takes me to complete routine errands. Wrong. I often plan to get 3 things done in the space of an hour when I should KNOW that I will only be able to accomplish one. I often tell my husband that I have to make a "quick" run to Meijer - "I really don't have to get much this time." - and he knows I will be back in 3 hours. He doesn't even bat an eyelash.

Well, on Thursday, after dropping Hope at her tutor at 10:00, I decided to make a small detour (5 minutes) on the way to Meijer so I could drop off a ton of donations at the St. Vincent de Paul store, mainly so I could make room for the groceries in the back of the van. But then Joy and I decided to make a quick run inside because she wanted to shop for Hope's birthday and she only had $4.50 to spend - better to try to find something at a thrift store on that budget.

So, of course, it took longer than we expected in St. Vincent. We made it to Meijer by 11. Joy still hadn't found something for Hope, so we had to look in every toy aisle, clothing aisle, and the jewelry section before she found something. I must have uttered the phrase, "Hurry up, we don't have much time," about 100 times. It didn't help. Finally she picked out what she wanted, and then it was on to groceries. At 11:30 AM. I had a LONG grocery list. My parents were coming into town on Friday for Hope's birthday weekend. I had to get it all done.

At 12 Noon, I was almost finished. In my mind, I was still thinking I had time. Oh how foolish. At 12:05, I got into a checkout lane. With 3 people in front of me, I was making friendly banter while I was becoming increasingly aware of how much time I didn't have left.

I exited Meijer at 12:20. Got the groceries in the van and got in the driver's seat at 12:25. Now, remember - 10 minutes back to the tutor to pick up Hope and then 15 minutes back across town to pick up Evan and Faith at 12:30. Yeah. . . you do the math.

I called the secretary where Evan was having his play group and asked if she could possibly arrange for Evan to get another ride home. Much to my relief, she called back quickly saying Evan was taken care of.

As soon as I hung up, Joy shouted, with tears in her voice, "What about Faith???" At that point, I broke out laughing while Joy was panicking, thinking her precious little sister would be left behind. I was not laughing at her - I was laughing at myself because I had honestly, completely forgotten about Faith! Yes, what about Faith? I knew the woman who was giving Evan a ride home only had room for ONE child besides her own.

So, I had Joy call the secretary again. Could she please find a ride for Faith, too? At this point, I really was feeling like a moron. She called back while I was inside talking to Hope's tutor - of course, this wasn't a quick in-and-out either because I had to get the scoop on what Hope had learned, etc. Joy came in and reported that Faith had a ride, too.

I don't remember the circumstances, but somehow we managed to call the secretary one more time and my darling daughter Joy, being infinitely concerned for her siblings' well-being, asked her, "Could you please make sure they get home at the same time?" I shouted from the driver's seat, "Joy, Shut Up!!!" Not the kindest thing to say, but this lady was bending over backwards to cover my a$$. She didn't need an 8-year-old telling her how to do it.

Well, we all arrived home safely. Myself with 2 children, groceries and birthday presents. Evan with Mrs. K and Faith with Mrs. Q. At least I managed to get home before them. After many profuse apologies and gushing thank-you's, all was well. And I really needed a nap.

A Thumbnail Sketch of Our Family

Let me walk you through the various disorders plaguing my family. This household contains Depression, ADHD, mild Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Insomnia, probable Adult ADHD, Hypothyroidism, Hypoglycemia, Obesity, Herpes Type 1 (That IS the cold sore virus, just so you know!), Adrenal Fatigue (or so says one borderline-quack-chiropractor), Perimenopause, Sciatica, Athlete's Foot, Hyper-emotionalism, Flatulence, Male Pattern Baldness, Overgrown Toenail Syndrome, Stretch Marks, and Overall Laziness.

You would think we would all be sitting around in straight jackets.

It's got to be a sign of the times. I mean, I'm sure the early settlers weren't suffering from all these maladies, right? They worked hard all day, grew their own organic food, enjoyed life's simple pleasures and lived off the land. Look at Caroline Ingalls - she was happy all the time, except for one episode, I think.

Sometimes I yearn for simplicity of life. Wouldn't it be glorious to grow all my own food, have a cow and a chicken for milk and eggs, have my husband go hunting for our meat, and have a small simple house that required only a daily sweeping? However, I don't think I could survive without the internet.

If I grew and ate all unprocessed, organic, homegrown food, I'm sure I wouldn't have health problems like a gall bladder with a low ejection fraction. If I worked / walked the equivalent of 15 miles each day, I would be the picture of fitness without annoying issues like plantar fasciitis. If I didn't have the dizzying array of responsibilities and distractions of modern times, I'm certain I wouldn't be suffering from Advanced Delusionary Schizophrenia with Involuntary Narcissistic Rage. (I stole that last one from "Me, Myself and Irene", a movie that has quite a funny premise but is disgustingly vulgar. If you haven't seen it, please wait until the non-vulgar edition comes out - it should be about 12 minutes long.)

All I'm saying is that I don't think God intended life to be this complicated, and I'm quite sure it's a product of modern times. And I have no intention of sitting back and letting it best me.

OK, well that's it for now - gotta go take my meds.

Playing with Fire

Yeah, maybe my kids could use a little more supervision. As I was sitting in my bed, composing my last post, I smelled the scent of candles burning. And then miscellaneous comments, such as "wow, you can toast bread over a flame!" and "how close can I get this napkin before it catches fire?"

My little scientists, I'm so proud of them.

I'm in my bed again

How can I be a productive human being? It's raining outside and I've been coldcocked by Daylight Savings Time. And my bed is so warm and cozy (we've covered this before). I should take a picture and post it here so you can see for yourself why I just can't stay away.

I really have to start exercising. But I'm always too tired. The experts say it is supposed to energize me, but they haven't met ME. I might be the ONE person in the known universe that defies the law of "exercising-gives-you-energy". I tried this once, not too long ago - I managed to get some exercise every day for 5 days, and then I had to sleep the entire weekend because I was so exhausted. And I did the 30 minute brisk-walk or 20-minute continuous swim each day. I should have felt better, right? That was about 5 months ago, and I haven't tried it again since.

But I really should get back to it. I know it. I have a little weight to lose (a little, ha! My spare tire is more like a stack of Michelins - heck, I just look like the Michelin man!) And exercising is good for my heart. And it definitely helps with depression.

I just wish Mother Nature weren't so cruel in making these cold, rainy days that make me want to hibernate again. And I wish Americans weren't so arrogant as to use Daylight Savings Time to control a natural phenomenon - sunrise, sunset, just get used to it, people!

Anyway, I have enjoyed this little rant during my mid-day bed-time break. It's time to get up and be productive again. The kids need educating and the house needs cleaning, etc. etc. etc.

Time for a pot of coffee.

Addendum to Struggling with Sin

My husband knows me better than I think he does.

As I was writing the previous post, "Struggling with Sin", he came to me and said, "The kids know you love them and they know your heart."

I laughed and asked him if he had just read over my shoulder.

He said, "No, but I know that's what you were thinking." (OK, you gotta really give my husband credit here -how many women would tell you that their husband KNOWS what they are thinking!)

"I just wish I was getting better at being a Mom," I lamented.

And he lovingly replied, "You are."

Struggling with Sin

Sin. I wish it had never been invented. If I see Eve in heaven, I'm really going to give her a piece of my mind.

I'm suffering with sin the way Paul describes it in Romans 7, when he says that, even though he wants to do what is good, sin is right there with him. I sin against my children, even though, of course, I don't want to. I hate it, but somehow I do it anyway.

My oldest is the toughest one for me right now. She's 9 going on 13. I swear she's been in pre-puberty since about age 6. She is so very emotional and so very irritable. I pray for her and I try really hard to be peaceful with her, to encourage the good in her, to correct her calmly and lovingly.

But tonight I blew it again. She was snapping at everyone and everything in her way, so I lost it. I didn't yell exactly, but I went on and on about how she needs to stop complaining and snapping at everyone and she needs to change her attitude and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It was like words were coming out of my mouth and meanwhile, my brain is saying to me, "Will you shut up already?"

It is frustrating because I want to be a better mom. I could be a better mom if I had better children. (Of course, I'm kidding. . . .sort of.)

Believe me, I know that a lot of my children's issues come from my past mistakes. I also know that some of their issues come from being sinful human beings who need Jesus as much as I do. Some of their issues come from heredity. And some of their issues come from just being children.

A good bit of my struggle with depression has come from the fact that I've given in to self-condemnation when I've made mistakes with my children. Satan is crafty, so he uses something that is true - that I do indeed make mistakes and sin against my children, and twists it into an ugly lie that I believe - that I'm a terrible mom and all other moms in the world are better than me.

I have since learned to resist those lies and just fess up when I sin against my children. I ask their forgiveness and God's and I know that God forgives me - again and again and again (I'm pretty sure I passed the 70 x 7 mark about 2 children ago). I've found that it helps tremendously to internalize Scripture and use it as a weapon against Satan, the way Jesus did when He was tempted in the wilderness. But sometimes I wish I could just whack him upside the head with a big, heavy Bible.

In the end, it is most helpful to remember Paul's victorious proclamation: "Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

I Love My Bed

I love my bed. Way too much!


I am a firm believer that we, as mammals, still have the hibernation instinct. But our crazy society makes us get up and get out and be productive anyway. This is very hard for me.

My husband bought us a Sleep Number bed about 5 years ago. He is quite frugal, but he will invest in a quality item if he thinks it's worth it. In his mind, a good night's sleep is crucial to health and productivity. So we bought one and we have never regretted it. Well, except for the fact that I never want to get out of it now.


We also have an electric blanket, which is pretty much on continually during the winter. The kids often sneak up there for a little respite during the day. To top it off, our room is tiny, so it really feels like a little cozy cave - complete with a TV, of course. All I need now is a coffee maker and refrigerator and I'd be all set.


Oh, the woes of being human. Oh, the pain of getting out of my warm and snug cocoon. Oh, the pain of the ice cold floor on my poor little toes.

You know, I'm thinkin' here. . . .kids need an occasional change of scenery to help them stay alert. They need some variety in their school day to make learning fun.

"HEY KIDS! We're having school in my bed today!"