I've been down. I've been down emotionally. I've been down physically. I've been down spiritually. Our trip to Florida was fun, but it was completely draining. Now, almost 2 weeks later, I feel like I'm finally recovering.
Have you ever had this happen to you? You plan on something for so long, and then it doesn't quite measure up? Florida was like that. There was definite fun involved, but there was also a lot of hard work involved in creating the fun. So, maybe I've been experiencing a bit of "post-Christmas letdown" both because Florida wasn't the entirely carefree, rejuvenating experience that I thought it would be AND because I'm sad we missed Christmas Day in Michigan. Yeah, Christmas Day was a bit of a disappointment when there was no snow and no presents.
And it was a bit hard to focus on the real meaning of Christmas since I had been totally neglecting to have any kind of prayer time. . . .for far too long. And I didn't really get back to it until today. But yesterday, depression and anxiety came to a head and my husband requested (demanded, pleaded) that I ask some women to pray over me. I had a women's group meeting at my house last night. (We meet in small women's & men's groups bi-weekly through a Christian fellowship that we're involved in.) So my friends did indeed pray over me and it was very freeing. It's amazing how I can let myself get overwhelmed by the little things in life - or to put it another way, to let the little things become HUGE to me - like getting my house cleaned or saving money on groceries. And I get to a point where I feel as if I can barely function, but then I realize that I haven't been focusing on what's truly important. I need Jesus. Period. And if I'm not communicating with Him daily, I am dying.
So, today I made a point to take a long time in prayer and reading Scripture, and my heart is once again where it needs to be: on a straight path, heading toward the Lord and my ultimate goal, which is to be with Him in Heaven.
I also realized that I've been trying too hard to make my family be more spiritual. I've been discouraged because I had a great spiritual renewal last fall, but no one in my family could relate and my kids just continued to pester the heck out of each other and me! :D Then I realized that I'm racking my brain trying to figure out how to force spirituality upon them rather than praying for them and asking God to show me how to lead them to a place where they can better receive HIM.
When it comes to turning 40 tomorrow, I'm down with that. I've worked through my issues. But I still think, "why am I still making some of the same mistakes that I did when I was 20 or 30???" It doesn't matter how old I get - my number 1 priority will always have to be "Seek first the kingdom of God." I hope that wisdom does come with age!