I love Mama Kat's blog. It promises hilarity every time!
Today, I'm choosing one of Mama Kat's writing prompts: Write about a time when you pretended to be someone you weren't.
OK, this should be easy.
I pretend that I'm someone I'm not all the time. I might be labeled delusional by the psychiatric community, but I don't care. They can't catch me.
What I mean is, to make everyday life more exciting, I often pretend to be someone famous. While I'm stumbling into the kitchen to make my coffee in the morning, I imagine the cameras are rolling and some deep-voiced male is narrating my every move: what is it like to be Jen Yarrington? She drinks ordinary coffee like everyone else, but there is something so "unordinary" about her. She's humble, yet beautiful and successful. Never mind the fact that I am 40-something, over 40-something pounds overweight, cut my own hair, had a pedicure in, let's see, December, I believe. Oh, yeah, I'm not famous. And it depends on what you mean by successful. I've led quite the auspicious career as a school secretary for the last year and a half.
Sometimes when I'm driving, I will crank up the music and pretend I'm in a music video. And then I'll strut into the grocery store, imagining that another deep-voiced fellow is singing about how beautiful I am. And then I'll flip my hair provocatively while thumping melons.
I imagine that some day, Dave Barry himself will stumble across my blog and be so in awe by my writing that he immediately sets me up with a publisher and a publishing contract for the rest of my life.
And then I get to be on the Dr. Phil show. Maybe to discuss how I "used" to imagine that I was rich and famous, and now that I am and how does it feel?