Last week, I took one of my daughters to the doctor. She had a rash on her face, which I thought was contact dermatitis, but we wanted to get it checked out anyway. (By the way, I am right approximately 90% of the time on my "home diagnoses". I wonder if I could be a doctor? I mean, really, if I can get it right by checking symptoms on the internet, I could make some good money in a few years, at least before encountering a malpractice suit - don't you agree?) It turns out, I was right about the dermatitis, too, so bring on the cortisone cream or whatever it is (so, I may not be very good with drugs. . . .that's what pharmacists are for).
Doc also noticed a patch of acne in the middle of Dear Daughter's forehead, and I said, "yeah, that's been there for about 4 months and just won't clear up." He said he had a tool to remove all the blackheads, and then he would prescribe an antibiotic/anti-acne cream to clear it up completely. How cool is that? Better than paying mucho bucks for expensive acne treatments, right? But then he asked about our insurance coverage - whether we have a per person deductible at the beginning of the year or simply copays per visit - because popping her pimples would be billed as a "procedure".
Man, I could make so much money just popping pimples for people - I love doing that! He brought out his little tool, a metal tool with tiny hole at the end. He pressed down on each zit and OUT popped the blackhead. I was so fascinated that I asked if they sold such things in drugstores or on Amazon, and how could I possibly have NOT known about these tools before now? Yes, of course. You can even get them at Meijer, he told me.
No kidding. I went to Meijer to pick up DD's prescriptions and found my very own pimple popper, which was on clearance, oddly enough. I can't believe more people aren't cashing in on this. Now I regularly chase my pre-teens down with the tool in hand so I can pop their zits. I look forward to getting up each morning so that I can see if I myself have a new blackhead.
Now, please tell me that I'm not the only one here. I can't possibly be the only one who enjoys popping pimples. I actually know I'm not the only one because Doc admitted that his own mother had a fascination with popping zits, and his wife does as well. He called her "Sally Scissorhands." I just wonder if any of my readers will have the courage to own up to their own pimple popping pleasure.
And by the way, I'm offering a new service out of my home. Only $10 per pimple.