When I was in college, I overextended a
muscle in my neck. I was doing something so foolish, so extreme,
that I deserved the vicious pain that followed.
I was getting out of bed.
More specifically, my loft. Getting
out of a loft bed is much more strenuous than getting out of a normal
bed, just so you know. It involves turning over with exact precision
so as not to fall on the floor from six feet up, finding a ladder
with only your feet because it's too dark and you can't turn on the
light to wake up your roommates, and then positioning your body
accurately over the ladder, again so as not to fall from your
six-foot-tall bed.
I know, I know. You can't believe I
endured such a wretched situation. But I lived to tell about it.
That one particular day, I turned over
and got ready to hoist myself out of bed and toward the ladder when I
felt a snap in my neck. The next thing I knew, I couldn't move my
neck or head without excruciating pain. So I made my way, very
carefully, down the ladder and called the campus health clinic. I
canceled my morning classes and made my way to the clinic.
My car was parked in the dreaded F-lot.
If you lived in any of the south campus dorms, you know that F-lot
was where all cars went to die, or at least hibernate for all of the
semester, because it was much easier to walk anywhere, including
Detroit, than to retrieve your car from F-lot. Even if I had been
able to retrieve my car, I would have had no place to park, since MSU
has about 27 total parking spaces for a campus that serves 50,000
students.
In short, I walked many, many miles
that day, with my head held high, and not because I felt proud. I
just couldn't move. I arrived only to have the doctor tell me that I
had pulled a muscle. He gave me a soft cervical collar, and probably
some heavy-duty pain meds and sent me on my way.
The most embarrassing part of all this
was that, during dinner in my dorm's dining hall, I was swarmed by
concerned friends all asking, “What happened? Did you get in a car
accident?” Imagine my embarrassment if I had told them I had
sustained the injury by getting out of bed. So my response was,
“Yes, it was horrible. Ambulances and fire trucks everywhere. My
car was totaled.” At least I didn't have to worry about them
discovering that my car was, in fact, still intact.
It was still parked in F-lot.
I used to be a floppy sleeper and often ended up with my neck in a bind by the next morning. a literal pain in the neck. fortunately I'm a slightly more sedate sleeper now and haven't cranked it in a couple years .... but I never got a brace or even good drugs, doc made me tough it out with over the counter solutions.
ReplyDeleteI stole one of my kids "koosh" neck pillows, and it works wonders for me!
DeleteWe could do a routine. I sustained a neck injury drying my hair. Yes. I had long hair and occasionally dried it (if I wanted volume) by doing a rowdy version of toe touches and flinging my hair about. Well, this day (when I was seriously 10 months pregnant) I must have flung things too far in some direction and was immediately in AGONIZING can't-bear-to-move pain. To my amazement when my husband called the MSU Family Practice, the doctor MADE A HOUSE CALL. I was amazed, too; this was in modern times. The doctor who turned up, turned out to be an osteopath. She so, so gently asked me to stand up, then she put her hands on my back and neck, asked me to make some movement and - VOILA! I was cured, entirely, totally cured. It was the most extraordinary experience!
ReplyDeleteI think I would have balked at wearing one of those braces (certainly going out in it), but the meds would have been welcome. :)