Once again, MAMA KAT has given us a mission: write about something.
And no, not just about anything. She couldn't risk giving that kind of freedom to amateurs. You will understand why when you read my post. She has to give us guardrails so that we don't careen off the mountainside highway of authorhood. (Yes, I might have just made up that word. That's because I am an established author using Mama Kat's writing prompts. Do not attempt this yourself.)
The topic I chose for this week:
Ten Random Things I Know How To Do!
(I feel like there should be theme music playing here.)
1. In college, I learned how to hold a flashlight and look pretty while a guy who likes me changes my alternator in a blizzard. I'm proud of myself for learning that valuable skill. Looking pretty, I mean. I have no idea how to change an alternator.
2. I know how to fly off the hood of a moving vehicle and get skid marks on my dress. If I were ever needed as stunt double, I would rise to the challenge. Skid marks on my clothing would be part of my resume.
3. I could probably get a job in Hollywood, doing makeup, because I once hid under a dock, covered myself with mud and fish guts. I was going to try to scare my older sister, but she saw me first and I ended up looking like a complete moron.
4. While testing a frozen pond, I found out that I can half walk on water. The other half of me fell in up to my thigh and I had to walk back 10 minutes back to my apartment half soaking wet. By the time I got there, half of my clothes were frozen solid.
5. I know how to sing a song in Tagalog (Filipino) for a free cab ride...in the Philippines. I would not try this in New York City.
6. I now know with what caution I should pick up a hot muffler off of the highway after it has fallen off my van. That would be a lot of caution, because after it had been on a vehicle in the hot sun and then skidded down the highway, that sucker was hot!
7. I know how to go on my honeymoon with my in-laws. No, that's a lie. Well, I really did honeymoon with my in-laws, but not gracefully. It was a disaster.
8. I know how to homeschool. At least for the really little kids who just need to know 1+1=2, and that ABC spells CAT. After that, it got too complicated, so I quit.
9. I still remember how to make Christmas ornaments from when I was in elementary school. I have tried several different ones over the years with my kids. I thought we might get so good at them, we might be able to sell them on Etsy. It turns out, they looked like something made by elementary school kids.
10. I am a sanity daredevil. What does this mean? It means that I have come so very close to the edge of sanity - you know the part where you're standing on the glass-bottom walkway, looking down into the canyon on insanity, and you think, "It doesn't look too bad, maybe I'll give it a try." I start to climb up over the fence, but a small voice in my head tells me it's not quite time yet. "Give your kids a few more years to mature into full-blown teenagers; give your husband a little more time to "sort things out" in his life, give yourself a little more time to juggle 839 with 2 hands. Then, my friend, then you will be ready to make this leap."
Now, if you are one of my regular followers, or if you are visiting from Mama Kat's blog, please do this for me: If you are interested in hearing "the rest of the story" from any of the snippets listed above, please let me know in the comments section. I love comments, and I love writing ideas. Because it's hard to come up with my own when I'm on the edge of sanity.