Sunday, October 2, 2011

Hibernation, Hi-i-berna-ay-tion, It's Making Me Fat!

In case you didn't start humming along, that was a play on Carly Simon's "Anticipation". Maybe you're too young to know who Carly Simon is. I'm technically too young to remember this song when it actually released - in the year 1971, I was a tender one year of age. However, I'm very good at remembering song lyrics, and this song was replayed many, many times throughout the 70's. To be honest, the reason I remember that song in particular is not because I was such a huge Carly Simon fan, it was because of a Heinz ketchup commercial released in 1979, where 2 little kids are waiting for Heinz to slide out of the bottle and grace their hamburgers. I was kind of a TV junkie, so I remember a lot of commercial jingles.

Now, I started a post about hibernation, but I actually want to stick with the 1970's song theme for a bit longer. As I was researching what year "Anticipation" was released, I came across this little factoid: She wrote the song about anticipating a date with Cat Stevens. Now I really do like Cat Stevens' music, even though the bulk of his music was released during my early childhood as well. And oddly enough, I love James Taylor, too, and Carly Simon was married to him. Makes me wonder if my parents were playing the music of these 3 greats during my toddlerhood.

Anyway, on to my current topic: Hibernation. If you have been reading my blog for more than a year, you probably know that I write an annual post on this topic. And that is because I get extremely frustrated with life and our society at this time of year. Since I am a mammal, I have the natural instinct to hibernate. Yes, I know that not every mammal hibernates in the winter, but this one does. Right around the end of September, I start to notice myself slowing down, getting more tired, and battling insatiable cravings for everything in the carb food group. When the weather gets colder, I want to turn up the heat in my den house. And I want to curl up in a blanket all day long. And did I mention that I want to eat. all. the. time? The early settlers would work hard all summer, harvest their produce in the fall, and then snug in for the winter. Even the work they did in winter, they did during daylight hours, which, depending on how far north you live, can be as little as 6 hours of daylight per day. Where I live in Michigan, the "shortest" days are around 8 hours long. But yet, I'm still working 16 hour days between a full-time job and being a full-time mom.

But do I get to hibernate? Noooooo! after toiling all summer in the blazing hot sun, I do not get to slow down. I have to work harder as the school year starts and life moves into an even busier season. And don't even get me started on the holidays that are just around the corner. . . .

So, this is my annual rant on the lack of hibernation opportunities for human beings. We all have lovely caves in which to ride out the coldest of seasons, but we still find it necessary to be outside of them, going grocery shopping, working at jobs to pay for our caves, etc. Silly, if you ask me, but I guess that's the way life is.

I love this little idea that some incredibly brilliant woman decided to put into words:

In this life I'm a woman. In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear. When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.

When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake up to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat away anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.


Happy Fall Everyone!

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