Wretched Cats

You may remember how I gushed about my cats in the post entitled Annabelle and Payton.

Well, I'm not gushing today. I'm actually considering finding a 12-gauge shotgun to rid my life of the prolific poopers who defiled my basement.

For several months, I've noticed the faint smell of cat litter - "and then some" - wafting throughout our house. Most people either didn't notice it or politely insisted that they didn't when they actually did and then decided to never visit our house again. No matter how often we scooped the cat box and replaced the litter and sprinkled it with deodorizer and sprayed liberal amounts of Lysol Neutra-Air, the smell lingered.

Situation unacceptable.

"Luckily" (I think), my daughter and her buddy recently discovered the gruesome truth: the cats had found an alternate outhouse under the basement stairs. This is in a small room that houses the furnace. However, there is a small piece of drywall cutaway for access to the furnace from the outside of the room - this is where the kitties found their entrance.

I asked my husband to address the mess while I started dinner - partly because I'm allergic to dust and pet dander, and partly because I didn't want the disgusting job of chipping up dried cat poo.

My poor, poor husband then faced a grisly mess that he could only describe as a "ball pit". We had conveniently forgotten (for a day or two) that the smell of such things embeds itself into anything and everything, even after the initial clean up. So, even though the visible mess is cleaned up, we now embark on the formidable task of erasing the cat odor. Since the incident (or many, many, many incidents, I should say) took place in the furnace room, the smell does indeed pervade the entire house.

Today's task is to clean the basement floor - repeatedly - the goal being to get enough ammonia out of the concrete so that we don't asphyxiate ourselves when we bleach the heck out of the floor.

Wish me luck. And remind me again why I love my cats so much.

Mirror Image

You know how they say that people look in the mirror and think they are fatter than they really are?

Well, not me, apparently.

I mean, I know I'm not slim by any means. I know that I could stand to lose a good amount of weight (never mind how much). But I tend to think I carry it well.

Here is evidence to the contrary: when I put on this outfit for my nephew's graduation party, I thought it looked decent. I thought it looked light and summery and that it managed to cover up my flaws in a fairly efficient fashion.

Instead I look like the Great Pumpkin.


Unfortunately I didn't notice this until after the party and after all the pictures were taken. And I can't exactly delete the pictures of my awesome God-son's graduation bash.

But, dang. I thought I was going to be his cool, hip Auntie Jenny.

Instead, I'm his great aunt Marge in a muumuu.

Diet vs. Diet

My kids have been asking me lately, "What does 'diet' mean?" In an attempt to steer clear of the connotation associated with the multi-million dollar weight loss industry, I say something along the lines of, "A diet is what kinds of food you eat. For example, a bear typically has a diet of berries, fish, or other meat." To which they respond, "NO! What does it mean to be on a diet?"

Why the heck are they asking me this? For all my concerns about weight, exercise, and healthy eating, I don't think that I have uttered the phrase "on a diet" since high school. Or college, maybe.

I have tried - with some success - to change my family's eating habits for good. I set my feet squarely in the camp with people who say that there is no such thing as a diet - it has to be a lifestyle change. However, I sometimes still try to get that quick weight loss by following a more stringent diet plan. I usually end up going back to the Fat Resistance Diet, which is founded on a philosophy that I understand and agree with. But the truth is that I really don't like the food. So, why is it that, not only do I have to deny myself the stuff that I love (like Frosties from Wendy's, which I had just last night), and then force myself to eat stuff that I hate?

Here's a snapshot of the Fat Resistance Diet:

Breakfast: Smoked Salmon Frittata, Slim Chai Tea, decaf coffee with skim milk, fresh orange

Fish for breakfast? Not a chance. Not even when I was living in the Philippines was I forced to eat fish for breakfast!

Slim Chai Tea: This is green tea with cinnamon, cardamom, and cloves.

I hate tea.

I mean, I really despise tea. (Please don't tell my mother-in-law - she's British.) I have politely tried to like it, but to no avail. I am a coffee drinker, through and through. Forcing myself to drink tea is like forcing a hockey player to compete in a figure skating competition. (Yes, I know this was done in the movie "The Cutting Edge", but I'm talking reality here.)

And then, the coup de grace: decaf coffee with skim milk. Might as well substitute the swill from my garbage disposal for as much enjoyment as I'd get from that. It would be like going to my favorite restaurant, ordering Prime Rib, and being served a single McDonald's chicken nugget. Yeah, it's that bad.

But I don't want to be inflexible. I could probably cut my coffee intake a bit, and possibly switch to fat free 1/2 & 1/2. I can eat a frittata for breakfast with lots of veggies. And I've gleaned some great things from the Fat Resistance Diet - even my children like the smoothies made with plain yogurt, blueberries, protein powder and flax seed.

I think it's a matter of adding the foods we like (or at least foods we can tolerate and hopefully learn to love), and finding healthier alternatives to what we already eat. The best part is that my husband is finally on board - it was he who suggested that we have salads every night and vary them throughout the week.

But I will never learn to like tea.

Running!

So, if you've been with me for a while, then you may remember OUCH!, a post that I wrote about my insane decision to start running. That post was written written 17 months ago. Shortly afterward, I gave up running because it hurt too much. Literally. My hip just wouldn't forgive me, so I figured that I just wasn't cut out to be a runner. But recently, it occurred to me that I should give it another try, but first try to strengthen my hips and other joints that might decide to complain.

I'm following a program called Couch Potato to 5K. It is a fitting title since I certainly identify with "Couch Potato" far more than "5K". My goal isn't even to run in a 5K race or any other race for that matter - I just want to be able to run down the block without getting winded. I regularly see runners and it looks like such a free and fun form of exercise. They go faster and farther than I have ever dreamed of going, even with power walking. I aspire to be like them, running like a gazelle through the woods and valleys, without a care in the world. Never mind the fact that I will never have a runner's body since I am barely over 5 feet tall and weigh much more than a gazelle.

My daughters and I started this program while I was visiting my family in the Upper Peninsula. I figured it would be better to get started on gravel rather than pavement because gravel is a little "softer". That, and no one would see me. I have to give my body credit because it is bouncing back better than I thought it would. It was my knee, not my hip, that has been groaning this time, but I bought a knee brace, and I've used liberal amounts of ice.

Still, so far, I'm not feeling like a gazelle. It feels more like I'm hurling 50-lb. sacks of potatoes onto the pavement with each step. But I am slowly but surely increasing my endurance, as measured by the fact that I'm hyperventilating less and less.

However, I feel that something is different this time. I think (I hope, I pray) that I am absolutely determined to show myself that I can do it! I feel pretty good about it since I've made it a week and a half and I haven't quit yet.

Regularity

Thoughts on becoming a regular blogger again. . . . .I seem to be suffering from blogger constipation. For days, weeks, months, I was prolifically writing about anything and everything and then suddenly, I'm stopped up. Can't find a darn thing to say or the time to say it. That's because of the whole new element I've added to the diet of my life, which is work. Now, you might think that makes work sound bad, but au contraire, think about it: The foods that tend to not do our digestive systems well are the ones that are usually the most pleasurable. It's the roughage of broccoli and flax seeds that get the plumbing going, right? But we don't enjoy them nearly as much as a gooey piece of chocolate cake.

So, I am indeed enjoying the cause for my blogging backup - I'm still in the honeymoon phase of the job - where I actually can't wait to get to work in the morning (part of that is just the fun of escaping from the kids) and I am genuinely disappointed when the work day comes to an end.

I think I need to gradually work the roughage of life back into my blogging arena. It's usually the stressful situations that end up being the best fodder for a blog post written with wit and sarcasm.

Besides, I can't poke fun at my new job yet, since I'm still only a temporary employee.

Respect for my fellow bloggers

Hey, all of you who are still out there, writing on a regular basis - kudos to you! I'm finding it quite difficult now that I have a whole new factor thrown into my life - work!

Still likin' my job as a school secretary (yes, we're open all summer), and still not knowin' if I'll be hired permanently. But that's ok. Trustin' God to work it all to the good. And hopefully once this gets to be routine, I will be a more regular blogger again.

Dang!

Yep, I'm workin' and it's consuming more of my time and brainpower than I thought. Hence, the several-week gap in blog posts once again. Well, that, and the new Sims 3 expansion pack that my husband bought for me. Gotta quit playin' that stupid game!

I really enjoy my job at the school, and it's a nice break from home (hee hee - it's a guilty pleasure). However, I am still unsure of the permanency of the job, since Mr. Principal won't make a final decision until August. Until then, I'm trying to figure out how to balance home, work, and blogging life! Actually, the kids have been doing a fabulous job keeping up with house chores - with the babysitter's help, no doubt - so that hasn't been too stressful. But I have been fielding a variety of questions about when I have to work again and how long and will I be doing this forever? It's a bit of a challenge when I don't have regular work hours yet, so the kids are feeling a bit apprehensive about the whole situation.

So, just another quick check-in. In the meantime, I've been reading up on my favorite funny guy, Dave Barry, just to inspire myself to get back into the blogging groove - he's the one who makes me laugh more than anyone else on the planet. And I, in turn, want to make others laugh. Sorry I haven't been doing that much lately though.