Chronicle of a Stroke, The 3 Month Mark

Yesterday, April 5, 2011 marked 3 months since my husband's stroke. Unbelievable! The time has gone so fast, which is good and bad. He's been home now longer than he was in the hospital.

And now reality is hitting us harder than ever.

As of today, Al still uses a brace and a cane to walk. He still has numbness in his face, arm, and leg. He still has a droopy smile and a goofy laugh (which I love, by the way). He still has no movement in his toes, fingers, or lower arm. He still needs assistance getting the darned brace on and off his leg, going up and down stairs, and getting in and out of the shower.

He CAN bend and move his left leg quite well, although apparently it's still not enough for the physical therapists to want him to practice walking without the brace. He can speak much more fluidly. He can shrug his left shoulder, bend his left arm with some assistance, and hold his left arm up.

But he is still a long way from the goal and he is growing weary. The novelty has worn off. Not like you have a stroke and say, "hey, this is cool." But it's dragging on longer than either of us had hoped, mainly because we keep hoping for a miraculous recovery, that one day he will just jump out of bed and say, "I'm all better." Even though everyone has told us that recovery is a long road. We know that's not realistic, but it's worth hoping for, right?

It's just getting old, and we feel like we are too. A dear friend's mother recently wrote to me and shared her experience of her husband having been diagnosed with a degenerative nerve disease when they were both about our age. She put it into words perfectly: "I felt that we were being pushed prematurely into 'old folks' status." As a side note, her husband actually wrote a personal letter to Al as well, and it was such a blessing to both of us to receive encouragement from people who have "been there." It's not often that you run into people who are dealing with such things in their 30's and who still have young kids at home.

I've been working on and off since Al's stroke. Thank God for FMLA - even though I only qualified for 6 weeks instead of 12 because I hadn't worked there a full year yet, I am thankful that I got to spend a lot of time at home with Al. As you might expect, it was much more difficult to be at work after Al came home from the hospital. I spent 3 weeks at home with him full time, and then I went back to work, part-time on most days, so that I could stretch out my leave time and be available to him as much as possible. Last week, I used up the last of my leave, and this week is spring break. Being the school secretary, it's my break, too.

I'm very grateful for the quietness and slowness of this week -we've had a lot of time to relax, although the kids do the occasional begging for something fun to do. We've had some good times, though, and it's been very enjoyable spending time with my family. One night, I made a camp-out in our living room -we lit candles and ate hot dogs and s'mores. Another rainy day (of which there have been many), we spent the afternoon playing Life. Yesterday, we went to the movies and saw "Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules" - we parked in a handicapped spot, both in the parking lot, and in the theater with Al's wheelchair, we got giant sodas and mammoth buckets of popcorn and watched a funny movie. One day, the kids helped me paint doors and baseboards, which they enjoyed quite a bit.

I realize now that I'm starting to ramble in this post. It's hard to encapsulate our life. I just figured I had better at least write an update. Not only to keep you all posted, but to keep myself reminded of the goodness of life.